Year

1964

Story

I am born ! 9 months watery waiting , muffled noises and a strange floaty kip are over. Shocked to be held upside down as I casually breath my first breath of Worcestershire air. And even more bloody shocked to be slapped hard on the backside mercilessly by a man with thick glasses and more hair up his nose than on his head . Mum looks ....not at all like she sounds actually, but great boobies and the drink makes up for the sore bum. I didn't let the slap go un-answered and after the nurse with an oversized pair of scissors hacks mercilessly at the long bit that extends from my middle I pee with gusto . I've been curled up in a strategic yoga pose for nine months so I had to break the seal and obviously my thingy , having been tucked away without use for the long wait , doesn't work with much accuracy and rather than soaking the bedclothes, I fire over my shoulder and hit the Doc in the face. For some reason , totally beyond my early but perfectly logical comprehension they all want me to cry . I choose to give nothing away in the face of such brutality and as they all peer wistfully into my face I gently explore some basic movements- nothing too radical , here a toe wiggle , there a head shake - and grace them with a much needed gurgle. Dad looks perplexed but sort of happy and the nurse finds the whole affair amusing , as do I . Well thats all I wanted to share right now. The outlook I guess is pretty good- its a saturday morning in late June and although I wouldn't have chosen the West Midlands as a landing zone I reckon that all -in-all , I'm pretty lucky to be here .

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